open warm brilliant naked

I walked into the kitchen, headed toward the refrigerator, pulled something out—I didn't bother to remember what, as at this point the action was one I could have taken without any thought. But I had an awed grin on my face by the time I let the door swing shut. Right in front of me, at eye level, hung the magnetic words of a poem—and not one written by me. Later I would deem it a prophecy, and I would reconstruct it on each refrigerator in each apartment I'd move into it, hoping that if I kept it present in my mind and in my life, it might one day prove true. It said:

a man is out there for you
he is open warm brilliant and naked
and will devour you

Sara's grin was just as big as mine when I burst into her room to say thank you. She chuckled at my question of how long the poem had been waiting for me; just a few days, she said, and I kicked myself for not seeing it sooner. I still haven't let go of the delight I felt upon finding it—the delight of knowing that no matter the rejection I had just been through, I had a friend who had faith that my luck with men would change; the delight of knowing, too, the sort of man I should look forward to. She had summed it up so aptly: open warm brilliant and naked. In all the times a friend or a personality test had asked me to pick words to describe what I thought I might want in a man, none had so succinctly hit on the heart of it.

Openness, such a multifaceted gem: the ability to let others in; the ability to accept new thoughts, ideas, and people; the ability to be truthful. As I have ruminated on the perhaps serendipitous beginning of the list of characterizations with this word for seven or eight years now, I have settled on this being quite the sage starting point; without openness, how else can a relationship develop? Openness is like a doorway; it lets two people enter the same space.

Warmth, for me the founding principle of my interaction with anyone. If there is one thing I think I have to offer, it is this. If there is one thing I find myself drawn to in others, it too is this. This trait reflects not just an ability but a predilection for developing a closeness with other people. If by nature a person is open, it is still by choice that he or she emits warmth. Openness is like a doorway; warmth is what makes the space beyond it communal. Warmth is what adds enchantment.

Brilliance, something that takes a million forms. In a literal sense, it is emanation, radiance, vibrant light. In the more common usage, it is intelligence, or creativity, or wit—it is having a talent for or deep understanding of something. In my mind, that something could be anything. There is no way to weigh one sort of brilliance against another. All that matters to me is that a person know he has some and be able to find it; and delight in finding it. It is that delight that casts a glitter like fairy dust into the space inhabited by two people, that gives them something in the other to learn about or admire and by so doing unite them more securely together.

Nakedness, the state of showing all. It is equally emboldening to be physically and metaphorically naked in another's presence; it too can be equally unnerving. To strip down clothes and walls is a way of giving and of taking; it is a way of making people vulnerable, and a way of making them strong. It, too, is a way of being joyful; of shedding boundaries and shedding thought; of stepping into the realm of feeling rather than thinking. Openness and warmth draw two people together; openness, warmth, and brilliance give them a way to stay there; but it is nakedness that makes the space between them a certain kind of space and not any other.

It's poetic, this prophecy, and prophetic, this poetry, and what I like on top of that is that it's light-hearted, closing with hope of a delicious encounter and/or a vivacious metaphorical appreciation of me. And ambitious as the whole thing is, after all these years of not finding him, I still think Sara has described a real person, or many real persons, and I am tickled to know what I'm watching for as a trail of potential hims go by.